Just a "zebra" trying my best to live life to the fullest with EDS and POTS...and loving the ride.

An Ode to My Thighs

Written by Katie. Posted in About Me, Favorites, Thankful

To My Lovely Thighs:

When I started gymnastics, I quickly realized that I was one of the gymnasts with “the big thighs”.  I grew to hate you.  Through elementary school, through middle and high school, and through college, I always wished you would go away and I would magically wake up with skinny girl legs. 

I remember going to kickboxing when I was 18, and the instructor telling me I was lucky to have such “muscular legs.”  I scoffed at his comment.  That guy had no idea how badly I wanted skinny legs; not the big ol’, stocky legs I was stuck with.  In high school, I started to notice lines on you.  Later I learned these were called stretch marks.  This made me hate you even more.

Then I got sick last year.  My size 8 body quickly became a size 0 body.  The sicker I got, the smaller I became.  Even though you started to shrink too, you still remained the biggest part of my body.

When I eventually landed in Dr. Lavallee’s office, he came in for the first time, and within 5 minutes of examining me said, “You don’t have any trouble with the lower half of your body, do you?”  I told him no, and he looked me in the eye and told me, “That is because of your legs.  They are muscular and are able to bulk up, which keeps you from having lower body EDS symptoms.  Your legs keep your lower half glued together.”

I think I mustered up a quick, “Oh.”

Later in the appointment he told me he believed I also had some skin involvement, making me a type 2 EDS’r.  I asked about you darn stretch marks, and sure enough I learned that you are a part of the EDS skin involvement.

THEN, I learned at my POTS appointment in Toledo that people with muscular legs have better success controlling their POTS because the muscles are the back up blood pumper.  I felt really guilty then.  All my life you were just trying to help me and I was so cruel to you.

So this is what I have to say to you thighs.  It only took me 29 years, but I am very sorry for hating you for most of my life.  Little did I know that you were keeping me from experiencing some major, major problems.  And stretch marks, I can deal with you.  I know you guys are not my fault, and there is not much I can do to prevent you.  I will try my best to consider you to be marks of love from here on out.

So thighs, and stretch marks, I will try and make it up to you starting now.  I will love you, embrace you, and keep you strong  because you are a part of me; a very, very important part of me… The healthy part of me.

And for that I am finally grateful.

 

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Comments (4)

  • Tonya

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    I saw you FB link to it, I feel like I have big thighs. In reality they are probably medium BUT no matter how hard I push for exercise I do not get muscle. I have a new PT and she’s made many comments about the lack of definition in my legs. I tell her I’ve been working on it for years. Who knows why? She’s trying some new things and we’ll see where it goes.

    Reply

  • Cheryl

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    I have had 6 back/neck surgeries in the last 4 years. One resulting in permanent damage to my epiglottis, resulting in difficulty swallowing and subsequently significant weight loss. My size 10 body has gone to a size 4, but my thighs remain out of proportion and certainly have no definition. I have a real image problem, so I sympathize and empathize with those who do; especially in swimsuits!

    Reply

  • Sarah-Marie McFarlane

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    Thankyou! so much for voicing, putting into words what I wish I could… Although I am at a size 0 now, my thighs are still the chunkiest part of my body… Gastroparesis & pots has stripped my upper body of weight but my thighs are still as strong as ever & I guess I to, have some healing to give to my thighs…

    Reply

  • Jesse Causie

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    It’s good to hear that the muscle helps you. I have a connective tissue disorder and POTS too. I just started my Beachbody journey but so far I haven’t fainted since before I was working out. *Crossing fingers* I hope to build muscle too in hopes of combating some of the symptoms of my disease.

    Reply

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