I am sitting here at a website work meeting with my amazingly talented web designer, Sebastian, and I am realizing I have been quite the blog slacker the past couple of months. I have been telling myself, it was all because of the event, but I came to the realization today that I have just been using that as a crutch. A flat out excuse.
I mean, I really have not had
an hour a week to write? Come on.
With Sebastian’s tough love I have realized that as my readership has grown, I have let the incredibly stupid, “what will everyone think” thought process creep into my mind. I am embarrassed to even admit that to you all, but that’s the truth. Why I have felt the need to censor myself, I am not even sure. It should be easy to say: “I am me, this is my life, and I am going to own it.” But for some reason this has been hard for me lately.
One thing that I have been able to chalk it up to is that everyone has insecurities and deals with them from time to time.
Something else is that maybe some of the things that are on my mind are things I don’t necessarily feel comfortable talking about yet. Like babies. Or if my district will still allow me to work half-time if that is what I need to do medically. Or other personal struggles that have been on my mind quite a bit lately.
I guess the point of this post is to reflect and get back to the WHY’s of why I started this whole blog in the first place.
For my own personal therapy.
To share my journey: good and bad.
To document all of life’s happenings: big or little.
To educate and spread awareness about invisible illnesses; especially POTS and EDS.
To help people realize that they are not alone.
To share victories, trials, tribulations, and successes.
To hold myself accountable as I stay on treatment plans.
To show people that it is okay to be real.
To show people who I really am, as I figure that out for myself.
So with that being said it is time for me to get back to being real. It is time for me to be me again.
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