Just a "zebra" trying my best to live life to the fullest with EDS and POTS...and loving the ride.

Five For Friday 1/26/18

Written by Katie. Posted in Five For Friday

1. Medical Stuff:

  • Nothing. Nada. No appointments which is rare. But many emails back and forth with my shrink.
  • 2 Days of Home Rehab. I went HARD.

 

2. I did not think this week could be crazier or more emotionally draining than last week, but man was I wrong. One day, I will get to the point where I will be able to put into words exactly what I feel and what I want to say about my time as a Twistars gymnast and patient of Larry Nassar, but for right now, I am honestly not sure exactly what all of that is. A friend posted this, and I want to share it, though:

“As this Nassar case continues to evolve please be considerate of your words as you formulate your own opinions on a matter you may really have no idea. As the situation involves so many right here in our own city/state there is someone everyday that most likely pops up on your social media as a person affected. Everyone heals differently and is at different parts of the process.

Be conscious of questions you ask as you run into the face of a former gymnast or a parent of a gymnast… You may be asking them to share what they aren’t ready or willing. While so many are coming forward there are more than you think that wish to not discuss ANY part of this.

Be aware that people have different truths. And while Larry is a common theme. There are many fluctuating truths while people play the blame game and begin to sort out the hows and whys.

While you bash that MSU gymnastics coach there may be a former Spartan gymnast on your social media that does not share that truth. Maybe they never will, maybe they haven’t came to terms yet…whatever their truth is, they too are healing.

While you attack Twistars and call people monsters and enablers there is a very large group of girls who in their hearts believe Larry fooled not only all of us gymnasts but all adults in his life too. Another sensitive subject to be aware of as these girls work through their emotions.

While you call for all coaches to be locked up there are gymnasts out there who became coaches themselves and prepped their gymnasts for what to expect in what they thought “was normal treatment” .

Be conscious of gymnasts who’ve had close friends and teammates come to them with feelings of discomfort and in turn were talked off a cliff because of what they too thought was “normal treatment” bc it happened to them all the time. Your words of “everyone that knew” can make them feel more guilt than support.

While all of the above examples may not apply to me they apply to many people in my life. There are still people working on coming to terms with the reality of what this man did. And as the book is thrown at Larry and this giant onion continues to peel back its layers please BE KIND and respect those who are not yet in the same place you may be.”

~K. Youtz

3. I do want to say this also:

This picture was taken just weeks after I found out my gymnastics career had ended because a doctor had surgically (on accident) removed the median nerve from my left arm. Even though this was a horrible time in my life, there was no way I was going to allow my family to miss our annual camping trip to Alpena with John, Kathryn, and my Twistars family. When anything went wrong, it was this second family of my coaches, my teammates, and my teammates families, along with my immediate family, who were there with nothing but unconditional love and support. I remember I couldn’t use my hand and arm at the time so my teammates had to do my hair. Then, they all did their hair to match mine in solidarity. We laughed so hard that night in Alpena. That is just one of thousands of sacred memories I will always cherish in my heart. And I will always, always, ALWAYS be thankful for the lessons John, Kathryn, and Twistars taught me along the way. So much more than gymnastics.

Being an athlete in John and Kathryn’s gym taught me all of the life skills that many of my teammates are also sharing right now; determination, work ethic, passion, perseverance, and how to stand up for myself, just to name a few…

However, I never imagined that all of the things I learned in their gym is what would keep me out of a wheelchair one day. EDS is my sport now, and I know how to train thanks to being an athlete in their gym. Each day I’m doing toe rises and damn mountain climbers so my legs can help pump more blood to my heart, I think about my time at Twistars and feel so much gratitude to my coaches and gymnastics family for helping me become the woman and fighter I am today.

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4.

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5. Positives: I am home for a three day weekend. As of today, I finished  the first semester with my babies…now it’s on to the second. I had a wonderful appointment with an incredible man this week. I heard from so many of my forever teammate sisters. I just signed two big contracts. I know it is time to heal and to begin to look forward to a bright future…it’s time to look forward to achieve peace, and begin to let go.

 

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